Me, Watching Tennis

Me, Watching Tennis
Me, Watching Tennis

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Drinking Their Blood Will Not Make You Young

Tennis commentators for the most part are old and crusty. They are often has beens, save for John McEnroe who is a flawed individual but is and always will be a tennis legend. These old and crusty people are obsessed with youth and so we, as an audience, have to forgive them for their relentless coverage of the 17 year old American and the 19 year old Dane who are both just so pretty and just how much Oudin's life has changed.

Guess what? They play tennis too.

The first set was all about nerves. Neither woman played particularly well but Wozniacki was consistent and against a young player on Center Court for the first time, consistency is all you need.

The second set, we're starting to see some actual tennis. With this match, it really will come down to who wants it more.

And now the commentators are obsessed with Oudin's practice habits and again, Mary Carillo and her "Teenagers." You just know she wants to slice open one of Oudin's veins, and take a hearty sip of that teenager blood. Sadly, it will not make her any younger.

Oudin is fired up now after the weird stoppage of play over the line call. She hit a fierce winner. Wozniacki is getting flustered. I love when she tried to wail on the ball and right into the net that ball went. This match is about to get real good, if we're lucky. And Oudin gives up a brilliant drop shot. Nice.

Sadly, Oudin couldn't get it going in the end. I look forward to see what she's going to do next.

That was fairly classless how Shriver basically insulted Wickmayer and dismissed her as a nobody. Excuse me, but she is in the semi-finals of a major. God. These people.

That interview with Oudin, at the end, was awkward. That poor kid just wanted to go to the locker room and cry it out and maybe have a tantrum. But no. Pam Shriver was all up in her face asking Melanie stupid questions. If that were me, I'd be measuring Shriver's rectum to see how well it might accommodate the girth of the microphone.

I'm going to be reading about feminism and modernism during the Federer Soderling match. Federer bores me. He's all perfect perfect perfect, dimpled smile, perfect perfect perfect. I'm over it.

4 comments:

paula said...

OH my GOD! They are supposed to be interviewing the WINNER! This is so fucked up. I'm ashamed..I'm embarrassed for - um- the media.

Ampersand said...

Roxane, I have to disagree. Mary Carillo doesn't drink blood, she prefers sherry if it'sbefore lunch time, and after that, vodka. Lots and lots of it.

paula said...

haha- RR and I make lots of jokes about how drunk Mary Carillo is. That and how Tracy Austin is a dominatrix, and well- here are a couple of posts bitching about them (I also often complain CHRIS FOWLER...oh man, he drives me nuts.)


http://tennisisametaphorforlife.blogspot.com/2009/09/sharapova-and-mary-carillo-on-prime.html

and this-http://tennisisametaphorforlife.blogspot.com/2007/11/womens-year-end-championships.html

Roxane Gay said...

Paula, seriously. It was a grotesque moment.

Paula, Ampersand, I've never considered that Mary is drinking but it really explains a lot.

I cannot tolerate Tracy Austin. I just can't. Her voice, really everything about her, grates on me.