Me, Watching Tennis

Me, Watching Tennis
Me, Watching Tennis

Saturday, March 8, 2008

Roddick and Lopez

What a CRAZY final. Roddick beaat Nadal AND Nole!!!??/ Whoah. I wish I'd seen that, for hte sheer novelty.

Speaking of novelty- my man Feli got to a final!? Oh my GOD. He beat Ferrer. Davydenko. Oh my GOD. I belong to a facebook group called "feliciano lopez tiene calor". I spoke to h im briefly in a bar in Toronto, after he had a tough loss to ...I can't remember. I said "jueges bien" and he said, "Gracias". Then I stared at Rafa, who was next to him. And that was that!!!

Except for the other time I hollered at him while he was being driven away from losing in Toronto (2 years before the time mentioned just above) where I screamed "Te Quiero". I might have said "Te Amo". Oh, and I immediately regretted my outburst of emotion. But, hey. No One- NO ONE - is finer than Feli. (By the way, he was crying that time in his golf cart- he had just lost to El Anouyi (sp?)-- wouldn't you scream out something to comfort him, huh?).

But here goes it. Roddick may have won the match. But Feli is so damn hot. Who would you go home with? Me- Feli. Win, shmin. Feli is my man. I'd go home with Feli if he were working at White Castle. I'd go home with Feli if he ...OK, enough.

I'm happy for both players for such a great tournament. Congratulations!
Yours Truly,

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Vegas and Dubai Tennis and So On

Well, first I watch Hewitt beat Safin handily and then Hewitt loses to Benneteau? Wow. Tennis can be full of surprises. Personally, Hewitt was bugging me aand he starting doing that asshole thing he does sometimes. So I was happy to see Benneteau win, not to mention he just played more consistent and solid tennis.

I wish I'd seen the Murray/Federer match.
Yours Truly,

Monday, March 3, 2008

My Strange Dream About Tommy Haas

First- thanks to Rick Rock for being the most awesomest guest blogger!!!!!!!!!! Wow, I really dug his emotional involvement with Elena Dementieva's Thighs. I would love to hear from anyone else who is interested in guest blogging!

But, two nights ago, I had a dream about Tommy Haas. I woke, like I often do, and was confused if I had been dreaming or if what I dreamt were really true. Well, I had been dreaming and I was relieved. Have you ever killed someone in your dream and been like, whoa, this sucks? I'm going to get in trouble. And then you wake and and you're like, Phew, I didn't actually kill anybody! Thank God!

My dream about Tommy Haas was sort of like that except that I didn't kill him. But I had a lot of relief upon awakening and realizing that it was a dream!

What is so strange about this dream is that I don't like Tommy Haas!!! I never ever root for him during a match. This is because two years ago (before I didn't like him) I was in Toronto at the Canada Men's Open and he came out on the grandstand and behaved so so so badly. There was an article in the paper about it the next day, where the journalist said he should have been disqualified from the match, and I agreed at the time and I still agree in retrospect. Literally, on the first point, he disagreed with a line call and started berating and insulting and cursing out Norm Christ (Like, one of my favorite Chair Umps!) and just went on and on and on. It was stunning. Like Roid Rage. Like, a Crazy Person. Roddick does that, too, and I think he should get disqualified from many a match. Just don't put up with that, people! No other sport would ever tolerate that behavior to the officials and it is time to stop tolerating it in tennis.

So after that, I never rooted for Haas. I liked to see him lose. (He lost that match in Toronto that day, thank goodness).

So why this dream? OK, before I hated him, I did think he was handsome. And I do think he plays some lovely tennis- he has grace in his strokes. But, I like the Spanish guys! I'm not so into a German guy- German doesn't equal sexy to me.

But my unconscious begs to differ. Here I was, in this little room with nothing in it but Tommy and myself. We were on the floor, leaning against a wall? Not sure, but that sounds about right. I think this room was on a boat! Whoa! Dreams, man- what a trip. My kids and my parents (but not my husband, oddly) were elsewhere on the boat. We were getting intimate. Kissing, touching. I was feeling badly (but not as badly as when I kill someone in a dream) because, hey, I'm married and I don't even like Tommy Haas! And in the dream, I was thinking that! I was thinking, I don't even like this guy, he's sort of a prick! But I was all hot for him anyway. He was breaking down my defenses. It started to get real. He had me all hot and bothered and I was letting him do things to me that I don't let just anyone do! I was like, oh God, this feels so good, oh God, this is so wrong. And then my kids knocked on the door of the room and were coming in the door, so I was getting up and pulling up my pants....then I woke up. And I was very relieved that it was a dream because of the guilt thing regarding my husband.

Now, if it had been David Nalbandian- I don't know. I'm just not even sure how I would feel in the dream. Or outside of the dream. Or in real life. But it wasn't David, it was Tommy Haas. Oh well.

Looking forward to THe Tennis Channel Open- it starts later tonight.
Yours Truly,

Saturday, March 1, 2008

Elena Dementieva v. Schiavone, Dubai Semi-final, 2008

Guest Blogger Rick Rock!

Hi, I'm guest blogging, and I'm a little nervous about it, but here goes. I'm guest blogging today because of that fine Elena Dementieva,or "Leni", as I call her. Mind you, I'm a big Schiavone fan for sure, but Leni has a special place in my heart.

Alright let's try to keep this focused on the tennis. Dubai has brought some fine tennis out, and these ladies hit with authority. Fine rallies.... whack, whack, whack, whack, repeat 20 more times. Both Leni and Schiavone (Frannie?) move great, hit nice, both play great defence, neither has an overpowering serve (I'm not going to talk about Leni's serve), so few short points. Each have real spririt and determination, each having led their countries to Fed Cup victories in the last few years. Just great tennis.

But uuuuhhhhhhhhhh.... Leni! Look, I'm not a tennis perve, really, that's not my style. But Leni - she's got it all. First of all, she's pure quali, as the dudes say at the end of the Fergie song. Long, slim neck, big eyes, not too pretty, but very pretty all the same, smart, charming, etc. Strong, and sensual too. She's a good girl, you can just tell.

Now let's talk about her thighs. Johnnie Mac has been repeatedly inappropriate about her thighs on national televison. He must have some weird thigh thing. He's like, "look at those thighs... (long pause)", then he literally goes "uuuhhhhhhhhh". It's gross. I'm a big Johnnie Mac fan, but come on, there are children present, sometimes. At least I'm freaking out about Leni's hotness on the Internet, where anything goes. I'm not even a big thigh guy - au contraire. But in her case I make an excepetion - after all it's all muscle. Zoom zoom zoom she just cruising around out there. And her noise - none of that beastly stuff like 'Pova or Serena - Leni's like, "ki-YA!" It's pure focus, not intimidation. No one else hits the ball quite like her - she takes the ball so early with such a quick wind-up, it looks like she's playing a different sport, like ping-pong.

Anyway, it wasa great match and in the end Leni prevailed. I don't think Schaivone got tired - I think she fell into a lesbo-tatstic reverie and thought, damn, Leni is so hot I'm gonna let her win! That's what I would have done anyway, except, hetero-tastic in my case. Schaivone is possibly my favorite tennis lesbian - but then Paula just reminded me about Mauresmo! and Kusi of course. There are so many! It's like a tennis thing. I love it, and not in a Maxim guys-think-it's -cool-when-girls-kiss way, I just think they are great. They never show their girlfriends in the stands, which is uncool, because they'll happily show guy's girlfriends and girls' guyfriends. They pratically gave Bagdhats' girlfriend her own segment during his breakthrough Aussie open run a few years back. What's up with that? Douchebags.

SO the next day Leni pulled the same magic on Kusi. She was like, "you are better at tennis, Kusi, but bow down before me and worship my thighs, NOW! and the Kuz was like "NO! I must play tennis against you! uh, uhh,,,,,, OK I give in!", and Leni won! A huge victory for my girl. GO LENI! alright I have to go.

Bye, Rick Rock