Guest Blogger Rick Rock!
Hi, I'm guest blogging, and I'm a little nervous about it, but here goes. I'm guest blogging today because of that fine Elena Dementieva,or "Leni", as I call her. Mind you, I'm a big Schiavone fan for sure, but Leni has a special place in my heart.
Alright let's try to keep this focused on the tennis. Dubai has brought some fine tennis out, and these ladies hit with authority. Fine rallies.... whack, whack, whack, whack, repeat 20 more times. Both Leni and Schiavone (Frannie?) move great, hit nice, both play great defence, neither has an overpowering serve (I'm not going to talk about Leni's serve), so few short points. Each have real spririt and determination, each having led their countries to Fed Cup victories in the last few years. Just great tennis.
But uuuuhhhhhhhhhh.... Leni! Look, I'm not a tennis perve, really, that's not my style. But Leni - she's got it all. First of all, she's pure quali, as the dudes say at the end of the Fergie song. Long, slim neck, big eyes, not too pretty, but very pretty all the same, smart, charming, etc. Strong, and sensual too. She's a good girl, you can just tell.
Now let's talk about her thighs. Johnnie Mac has been repeatedly inappropriate about her thighs on national televison. He must have some weird thigh thing. He's like, "look at those thighs... (long pause)", then he literally goes "uuuhhhhhhhhh". It's gross. I'm a big Johnnie Mac fan, but come on, there are children present, sometimes. At least I'm freaking out about Leni's hotness on the Internet, where anything goes. I'm not even a big thigh guy - au contraire. But in her case I make an excepetion - after all it's all muscle. Zoom zoom zoom she just cruising around out there. And her noise - none of that beastly stuff like 'Pova or Serena - Leni's like, "ki-YA!" It's pure focus, not intimidation. No one else hits the ball quite like her - she takes the ball so early with such a quick wind-up, it looks like she's playing a different sport, like ping-pong.
Anyway, it wasa great match and in the end Leni prevailed. I don't think Schaivone got tired - I think she fell into a lesbo-tatstic reverie and thought, damn, Leni is so hot I'm gonna let her win! That's what I would have done anyway, except, hetero-tastic in my case. Schaivone is possibly my favorite tennis lesbian - but then Paula just reminded me about Mauresmo! and Kusi of course. There are so many! It's like a tennis thing. I love it, and not in a Maxim guys-think-it's -cool-when-girls-kiss way, I just think they are great. They never show their girlfriends in the stands, which is uncool, because they'll happily show guy's girlfriends and girls' guyfriends. They pratically gave Bagdhats' girlfriend her own segment during his breakthrough Aussie open run a few years back. What's up with that? Douchebags.
SO the next day Leni pulled the same magic on Kusi. She was like, "you are better at tennis, Kusi, but bow down before me and worship my thighs, NOW! and the Kuz was like "NO! I must play tennis against you! uh, uhh,,,,,, OK I give in!", and Leni won! A huge victory for my girl. GO LENI! alright I have to go.
Bye, Rick Rock