Henin Retires, Larry Scott owes all tennis fans, and Henin, an apology

I read the article below in the New York Times. Larry Scott says of Henin's retirement "we won't lose any sleep over it". I find this profoundly offensive, perhaps the most offensive thing I've read about Henin's retirement. This man is the head of the WTA. He owes us an apology. Honestly, I think he should offer us his retirement. The world's number one player retires - I wish her the best and do not feel in any way critical of her decision - and the head of the WTA dismisses this huge event? Why? Because he's not good at his job. Because he only cares about making money and doesn't actually care about the sport. What an ass. What a shame.
Yours Truly,
Paula

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/15/sports/tennis/15araton.html?_r=1&sq=larry%20scott&st=nyt&adxnnl=1&oref=slogin&scp=2&adxnnlx=1211124265-032mZIKCOyBu4YkU8jzSVw

Two Semis, Two Retirements

Well, I'm just grateful I didn't buy tickets to the semis in Rome. What a rip-off! That said, I don't blame Roddick or Stepanek. Although, I would have liked to see Stepanek barfing at the side of the court. I saw Roddick barf on the side of the court during a Davis Cup years ago - he played out the whole match and lost it. And there is the famous Sampras match, I believe against Courrier, where he was puking and - won! So, there is all that to compare to Stepanek's retirement. Then again, as much as I like to see a player barf and keep going, I would never want to see a player pass out on the court, or lay down writhing with cramps (Who was that dude? Some South American player? They invented the injury time-outs because of him.) So it's a bit of a gray area. Regarding Stepanek, I'm inclined to be in agreement with the commentators- he got on the court two hours or more before he though he would due to Roddick's retirement. And perhaps he had a huge stomach full of pasta? Anyway, I judge retirements case by case, and sometimes I'm not sure how I feel. Or, I have mixed feelings. Ah, life and tennis. Sometimes, it's complicated!
Yours Truly,
Paula

Dementieva beats Jankovic and head to the Semis

Yeah, Leni! (That's what we call Dementieva around here.) What a great match. These two fine ladies hit the ball like I do in my dreams. And in my dreams, I also get to make sweet, violent love with Maxim Afinogenov, Leni's hockey player boyfriend, afterward.

But seriously, Leni's groundstrokes are my absolute favorite on the entire women's tour. And I do think she is playing very well due to the good lovin' her man gives her. I do. I believe good lovin' can change your life, and your tennis game.

I am about to watch Wawrinka against Roddick. I was sad that Robredo lost 7/6 to Roddick. I LUV Robredo and Roddick has the terrible effect of making me ashamed to be American. He is the poster boy of bad manners too frequently. The other semi is Stepanek vs. the Djoker. I must say, this is the event of none of my hotties makinng it far. No Nadal, no Nalbandian, no Ferrer and so and so forth. But hey, Hamburg starts in a day or so!
Yours Truly,
Paula

STEPANEK BEATS FEDERER!!!

Well, it's true. I was taking a nap - I had a late night last night - and when I woke, Stepanek had taken the first set 7/6. So I sat my lazy butt up and watched the second set. Well, the Chek worm-dancing dude beat classy Rog. My theory is that Vaidosova, Stepanek's girl, is giving him some good loving and therefore, he is playing really, really well. I personally find Vaidosova a little frightening- the temper! she scares me, it's true -- but maybe, or rather, clearly, Stepanek digs big, frightening women!

I will also say that my raquet bracket contains almost NONE of the people who made it to the quarters. I think just Robredo. Wow, I stunk at calling this tournament. BUT- I will comfort myself with the fact that this was one wierd tournament, with Nadal, Ferrer and Federer going down.
Off to watch more tennis.
Yours Truly,
Paula

Rome, Day Two, 2008

First- thanks so much to Rowan for his awesome guest blog discussing the fine, fine ladies on the WTA tour! I do hope you'll blog again for me, Rowan! And I like his idea of doing a list - lists are hot! - of players to go gay for. I'm keeping that in mind for sure!

I sort of forgot to post about Barcelona. I did watch the semis and the final. Nadal looked amazing! I'm so excited to see if he can win the French this year. Can you imagine, four years in a row? It would be so, so special.

I have been so happy about the full week coverage of Rome. I have not been so happy with some of the results- I am not doing so great in my raquet bracket- but more on that in one sec. Now, what is so great about the early part of the week is that- there is actually ten whole hours of tennis! So I can do the two things I enjoy most in life, watch tennis matches, and take naps while the tennis plays on my TV. Because, with ten hours, you can do both! Later in the week, it becomes harder. Like, if you sleep through the semis, that's it for the day. You don't get to watch tennis then. So Monday and Tuesday, I had some great naps. I also watched Federer beat Canas. I had Canas winning that on my raquet bracket- no offense to the Rog, I just was trying to call the upsets! I also watched Tipsavaric lose to Gonzalez. I had Tipsivaric beating Gonzo in my bracket- so I was really annoyed. Again, I was just trying to pick the upsets! There are always upsets! I think, once, I filled out my raquet bracket based just on ranking- you know, the higher ranked player always winning. I didn't do too well that time, either. Sigh. I also wanted Tipsi to win because I dig his Dostoevsky tattoos. And as handsome as Gonzo is- and he is really, really handsome - I saw him behave like a bully/asshole once on a back court in Toronto. He did that walk to the net all slow and meanlike and then fist pump in some opponent's face. I HATE that. I hate when players try to intimidate- I hear Roddick did that big time to Kei, the cute Japanese player, recently. It's just a real turnoff. And I prefer being turned on, people!

Right now, I am watching Moya and Verdasco. I LUV both of these class acts so, so much that I decided to pick Moya because he's older- he has less time on the tour. And so, the little time he has left, let him win some matches, right? And here I am, watching him lose. My raquet bracket is stinking up the joint. But, hey, at least I have lots of tennis to watch! And later, maybe I'll have a nap to the beautiful lullaby of, thwack, thwack,thwack.
Yours Truly,
Paula

Lists Are Hot

Hi everybody, I’m Rowan, doing the guest blogging thing for today.

We all enjoy reading about Paula’s attraction to male tennis players. And Paula speaks the truth! It is right to love and desire tennis players. That’s part of what makes the sport so great. The beautiful people! It’s fun to make lists of which players you think are hot stuff, everybody should give it a go. Seriously, join in. Here's my list.

Tennis Players I Would Like To Rescue From A Burning Building

First up, the stunning Tatiana Golovin. She’s so classy. How about Daniela Hantuchova, six feet tall and well worth the time. Ana Ivanovic is what God had in mind when he said ‘Let there be woman’. Vera Zvonareva is oh so emotional and oh so cute. Can’t forget the sexy Jelena Jankovic, she makes love to the camera. Marion Bartoli is adorably unorthodox. Her waist is small and her curves are kicking. Maria Kirilenko is in phenomenal shape. You can see all the muscles in her legs. That’s hot. Martina Muller looks mean, but in a cute way. Dominika Cibulkova: Gorgeous. Lilia Osterloh: Smoking. Camille Pin: Lovely. Jelena Kostanic Tosic: Beautiful. Severine Bremond: Belle. Feliciano Lopez: Very pretty. Wait, what? Uh oh. I guess the next list will have to be ‘Tennis Players To Go Gay For’.

More Live Scoring Viewing from the ATP Tennis website and look our for my new Guest Blogger!

My man Nalbandian went down to Wawrinka 6/3, 6/1 in Barcelona.

Now, this confused me. I was in a tizzy. Was David injured? He looked good in Monte Carlo. Then Rick Rock looked up the head to head on them and here it is: Wawrinka won the last five of their seven meetings. Wawrinka owns my Nalby's butt. Sometimes, this happens. Someone owns another person's butt. I think Nalby once owned Federer's butt, then it changed to Federer owning Nalby, and now- well, I think the two don't own each other anymore either way! But cleary, the other Swiss, owns my love's, my Nalby's, rear end.

Robredo's win over Canas is sort of interesting. Go Tommy, you rock, much like the name of the record for which you are named, Tommy, by The Who!! Nothing against Canas. In fact, if I were a better blogger, I would find this picture of Canas with his girlfriend just to blow everyone's MIND. That woman is so fine and let's face it, Canas is no Safin, or Feliciano Lopez, in the looks department. BUT - he's a big, strong, rich, professional tennis player! And clearly that means he gets a pick of various modelicious ladies! And Rick Rock nearly died when he saw how gorgeous Canas' fine lady was.

Nadal had to beat his buddy F.Lo, also known as Feli. All in a day's work! Crushing your best buddy on Spanish national television! Actually, it wasn't a "crush". Just a solid win.

I, for one, would be honored to be crushed by Nadal. On the tennis court, in his hotel room, in an alley somewhere- you know, like, wherever. But Feli might not feel that way. Who knows.

Anyway, I have a guest blogger coming SOON! Hold your seats people! A fresh voice on it's way...
Yours Truly,
Paula