Me, Watching Tennis

Me, Watching Tennis
Me, Watching Tennis

Friday, June 25, 2010

I Have Been Watching Wimbledon, Just Not Been Blogging

I'm having a very strange and yet very normal day of watching tennis. Right now, Hewitt and Monfils are in a lovely battle. Monfils is very attractive. Hewitt said "thanks, Mate" very politely to my son Rockytoad when Rockytoad said "good luck tomorrow" to him in Montreal as he dined next to us with his wife and two beefy guys and their baby daughter. Also, once, Hewitt's wife was sitting behind us watching Hewitt play someone- I forget who- and Cheesewad was maybe five and started to lie down in my lap as we had been watching tennis all day long--and she said, "aw, he's so cute" and he is so that was awesome she figured that out. So, I like the Hewitts, but if I had to choose a man with whom to be intimate, I would choose Monfils. Now, this is not because Hewitt is married and I have morals- apparently, I really love married men, as I tend to think about having sex with this one married man lately, which is sort of confusing, but it's just thinking, which is different than doing, I think, and once I watched an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm, which I never watched much, because I found it too annoying and sort of mean, but the episode I watched was about how when masturbating, the protagonist had people just "pop in" to his mind. Now, I find that interesting--so random. Anyway, once Monfils signed my kids tennis balls and he was super sweet and smiley and cute and I bet he's uncut because all the French are uncut.

What else--um, how bout Hannah Storm? Whatever drugs she's on-I want them. Also, I no longer like Pam Shriver for heckling James Blake. What the fuck was she thinking? Also, I guess I should say something about that really long match, that ended 68/70 in the third between Isner and Mahut. I was pulling for Mahut because I find him more attractive than Isner. That said-it was a very long match, the longest ever by hours and so on. Sort of freaky and weird. My buddy Robert was here watching it with me on Day Two of the match (it took place over three days, but you know that) and that was very exciting because mostly, I watch tennis alone. Robert and I once watched hockey in a sports bar and I drank large amounts of vodka. It was a smashingly good time. But that long match? Sort of boring. Still, cool and strange and like, we were on Mars and all the usual things that are normal on earth didn't apply anymore, but different, strange Martian laws were in effect and they included really long fifth sets.

What else? I'm watching Kelybanova versus Venus Williams. Now, Venus will pull this out-and I LOVE this dress, was not so crazy about the one she wore at the French--but Kleybanova is no joke. She also once squeezed out her ponytail and like, buckets of sweat came out- and then she did it again and again and Rick Rock and I got grossed out. Also, she does this wierd jerky motion with her head. I find watching her amusing because she's sort of gross and strange. And if she's on, I feel like she could beat anyone. I also feel like she's thinking "I'm scary looking and do gross things with my ponytail, and jerk my head around like a horse getting the reigns pulled, but that makes me not care about anything so I'm going to kick your ass".

Sigh. I'm going to take a break from tennis and shower and --and---and maybe get dressed for working out with this ex marine who is 27 years old and really, really attractive and after he brutalizes me with various torturous weight training activities, he then "stretches me out" which makes me all coy and also, very happy for the rest of the day.

More soon.

Yours Truly,

1 comment:

Ampersand said...

Kleybanova is exactly like a Hunter in Halo...