Me, Watching Tennis

Me, Watching Tennis
Me, Watching Tennis

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Verdasco versus Djokovic is More Exciting than Koubek versus Ljubicic.

Verdasco versus Djokovic is more exciting than Koubek versus Ljubicic. There. I said it.

Well, friends, it is true that Verdasco has managed to win the first set against Djokovic. And he played so well to do so! Really really well! It wasn't that Djokovic started playing badly, no. It was all Verdasco making the shots. Big forehands and all that. Now, Verdasco is very much the underdog -- he is ranked 35, Djokovic is ranked number 3 and beat Federer this year -- but there are some reasons to feel for Djokovic, although maybe in the grand scheme of reasons to feel for someone, not very big ones. Here goes it: Djokovic is not nearly as attractive as Verdasco. That's right. And Djokovic is cute, but Verdasco is supermodel gorgeous. Although, I've met people who disagreee with me on that. But Djokovic has a very strange looking hair thing going on. It's sort of like a brillo pad. At this moment, he is sporting a goatee, which I'm liking. But when I saw Djokovic play doubles in Montreal on a back court, I was embarrassed for him due to his not very nice way that he stood to receive the ball. He really, really stuck his butt out.

Now, the first time I saw tennis up close and personal (years ago, I might add), I was moved -- really emotionally affected in a complex way, not all in a good way, and not all bad, just moved, my friends -- at how big and round tennis players butts are. In fact, walking by the much missed crazy Gaston Gaudio on a practice court, I almost gasped at the width, thickness and altogether outwardly goingingness of his behind. It is because they run a lot. Running can make your butt a huge muscle. Which makes it big. So when Djokovic sticks it out -- in this sway back sort of way, honestly, and it's very unappealing -- I want to go tell him not to do that. Kim Clijsters did that and I found it alarming on her, as well. Because they also wiggle their butts whilst sticking them out. Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle. And it embarrasses me. If I were watching a porn movie, the butt wiggling and sticking out wouldn't embarrass me. But these people are not trying to get someone to stick something in their ass. No. They are waiting to return a serve in a game of tennis. But you know what? Both Kimmy and Djokovic have great personalities, so it's really OK that they stick their butts out.

And the other reason to feel for Djokovic -- and this one might be a better one -- is that Verdasco has a home court advantage. And even though I will be jumping around alone in my living room going, "Vamos! Vamos! -- if Verdasco were to win this match, my money is still on Djokovic to win the next two sets. I will go see and report back to you.

Well, sadly, Djokovic just took the second set and broke Verdasco twice to do so. It was as if Verdasco just "went away" as they say. The Madrilenos are hushed and miserable. A tiny little bit of polite applause came when Djokovic won the set. What happened, Fernando? Why? WHY? How is it that you play so well and then you start sucking? Error after error. I think it is a lack of faith in yourself. I want to work on that with you. Give you faith. Because, as everyone says, not just me you know, you have the talent! You do! OK, I'm going to go watch the third set.

I just had the misfortune of watching Verdasco spray three, that's right, three forehands in a row. It's his weapon, and his achilles tendon, his forehand. They are still on serve, it's still the beginning of the third set, but I feel this sense of doom. I also burned my mouth on a piece of pizza. So you can imagine I'm feeling grumpy.

It's over. Verdasco lost. He had ten break points and didn't convert one of them. The mean commentator -- one is nice, one is always semi-hollering and never has anything nice to say about anyone, not even Federer -- said, about Verdasco, "He's ready for Dr. Phil after this match." I don't think that's a very nice thing to say, but I know where he's coming from! Verdasco is not mentally tough. He, inside of his head, is very different than his big manly chest, which is all tough and hard. (I've seen it many times in the flesh on the back courts of tournaments. The guy never wears a shirt and who can blame him?)

I personally just want to comfort him. If he were here, I would give him a big, big hug. And stroke his hair. And kiss him. And so on and so forth. And I bet I'd cook him something, too. Or maybe I'd be in Madrid comforting him and we'd go out for dinner instead. My favorite restaurant in Madrid is El Lando. But we probably would go to his family's restaurant, because they own one in Madrid. And that wouldn't be very intimate, but he'd be surrounded by loved ones instead of just me, whom he doesn't know. And I bet that is what he'd want. Which just made me sadder than I was -- I'm feeling a little sad he lost.

But it's only the third round so I'm going to go watch more tennis now.
Yours Truly,

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