I Went to the US Open Today

People. I went to the US Open today. As some of you know I used to watch tons of tennis and blog about it with great regularity. Now- not so much. But - DAMN- it's a good game. My very nice husband brought me along to a corporate box - I immediately forgot the name of the corporation, but he works with these people, and I was anxious- sometimes, I say inappropriate things. But yet, he took a gamble on me- he let me come along. It turned out one of the sales people who sells- I don't know what, my husband mumbles, so I can't understand, and then the actual sales people could give a shit what I know- remembered me from last year! I remembered him too! Although I have no idea what anyone does. I was just sweating a lot and super happy to be in a corporate "suite". They bring you drinks- non stop. There is a ton of food! I ate three times- the last was a plate of salami and a pile of chips with sour cream dip. And then there was TENNIS! Kvitova started. Sometimes, she looks like a huge Eastern European JAIL GUARD. But, in reality, she looks like an awesome strong, young, tennis player! She was cute. Huge-ish, but cute! She won her match. I was getting hot. It was hot out. I wore a sweater- granted a small sweater- but still. She won Wimbledon a few year ago.She was "awes" as my sons say. Then came the "Woz" also know as Caroline Wozniacki. She's Polish but plays for Denmark. At one point, she was number 1! She's totally thinned out. She's not anorexic seeming, she just lost her baby fat. She played this ginormous Chinese qualifier, Duan Ying Ying, who was 6'1, and hit balls HARD. Like I do (just kidding, well, you know). The Woz managed to pull it out with great defensive play, and Duan just made too many errors. At this point I was sunburned. Also, I'm not a good day drinker, but hey, free booze. So, I'm at this corporate box- love the private toilet!- and  bonding with the waiter! I waited on tables for ever....anyway. Every now and again someone wanted to talk "business" with me and I just did that thing, you know, put your hand over your head and say "that just went over me". It worked. Then Federer came out. AAWWWWW. He's so cute. Then I made some inappropriate comments but my husband ensured me that I wasn't as bad as- well. That was wishful thinking. I say the wrong things. I didn't use dirty words. Free drinks and food? I did OK. Federer kicked some ass. But I clapped loudly for the poor dude "I'm getting over Mono" a lot. At this point, I'd had too much Vitamin D, some white wine, lots of weird chicken dishes, and I was wearing bad shorts- like, too short shorts.  The only good thing is that- I was not the only one sweating! We were all sweating like crazy! So I slid off my seat and gave wet hugs to people, especially the one guy who invited us, I gave him a good sweaty hug, and - yeah. One thing - professional tennis players play amazing tennis.
Yours,
Paula