Nadal v. Djokovic

Finally, the final. I'm hanging out on Tennis X, being alarmed by the rudeness and the stupidity, but also, enjoying the nice people and the non-idiots. I'm drinking a martini and vaping, which is not nearly as fun as smoking.

I was happy Nole took the second set. I want this to be a real match and so far, well, at least it will at least be a four setter.

I want to thank all my readers for coming by this US Open. I got 800 hits this US Open, and that's a lot for a blog that pretends to be about tennis, is about tennis sort of, but goes off on sex and drinking and Mars and cat pee and stuff a lot. So, big thanks for reading people.

This is a passionate match. I'd be happy of either one wins- and I think one of them will-and I'll be sad for the loser.

They just showed Nole's box and his mom was gone- must be at the ladies room. Rick Rock said they should let her pee in a cup. I'm in agreement.

Set four is ending. I would love for Nole to get out of the hole he's in- I'd like to stay up later and drink more. Oh wait, I can do that anyway. I guess- I mean- I would like to drink whilst watching tennis, not a Law and Order rerun.

Wow- what a great final. What great players. No Mars jokes. Just- love these players. Nadal earned that win and I hope Nole gets another Grand Slam soon.

Yours Truly,

Paula

US Open 2010 Ladies' Final: Kimmy Wrastles Vera Down, Teaches Her

RR here -

Kimmy is the Boss. She gave Vera nothing, wrassled her down, pinned her, Vera tried to struggle but Kimmy was too strong, nothing worked. Eventually , after some pretty good (but not great) Vera histrionics, smash the rackets, flank-smacking, horrifying Russian curses (which really do work by the way), Vera submits, giving in to Kimmy's relentless onslaught, surrendering her womanhood to Kimmy. Gives in completely, utterly spent, ravished by Kimmy's punishing, rock-hard tennis prowess.

Mary Carrillo tried hard to be her usual dickish self, but actually Vera miraculously composed herself and Kimmy is the nicest person on the planet (also probably nicer than most people on Mars), so it didn't really take. She didn't have anything much to work with. She did try though, suggesting the "moment" was too much for Vera. Truthfully, Kimmy was just extremely tough.

By the way, Mars!

So there you have it people - the Ladies' final. Kimmy rules, everyone else drools. Watch for lots more players to quit and have babies, looking for that competitive edge. and marry people from New Jersey. And be Flemish. And, and, do the splits a lot. And, win lots of tennis games. Oh wait they are already trying to do that. Serena starts dating The Situation? Sam Stosur has triplets? We shall see...

RR out

Hanging Out at Tennis X, I Discover There Are Robots Amongst Us

Yes, it is true. There are robots among us, people who look like people but are actually robots built by Martians and then smuggled down to earth in a rad spaceship that maybe was invisible to the human eye and then- like, the Martians dropped off their elaborately and specifically wired robots to run loose in the world and then, like, got back on their invisible spaceship and returned to Mars, and like, that is why we didn't see the Martians.

Also, this Nole Fed match is pretty awesome. A real match. Sort of rooting for Nole, although I dig Federer.

Anyway, one such robot built by the Martians goes by the name of "Zinaldo". Now, I am pretty sure back on Mars, when they built "Zinaldo" his/her real name, her Martian robot name, was Zshreebutnkzzzz, or something like that. Anyway, I think these robots were built because Martians are trying to take over the Earth (despite them letting us use their planet for things like body mooshing) and think they can do so by dropping these inconspicous robots around the planet, robots that have different ways of- trying to take over the earth. So "Zinaldo" (really Zshreebutnkzzz) was specially designed to annoy people sooooo badly, that like, smoke starts blowing out of their ears and then they explode and die, or maybe they explode and their human energy flies upward to space and is sucked over to Mars so not only are the robots killing off the human race, but they ensure that our energy is theirs for their use. Like maybe, they use our energy to power their bedside lamps. Not sure. But I am pretty sure "Zinaldo" is the robot of annoyance and that it is part of a Martian conspiracy, I'm just not sure about the bedside lamps.

Anyway, you can see for yourself by clicking here and going over to Tennis X and scrolling down and reading "Zinaldo's" comments. And then you can decide if I'm right or not. I think you will find my theory pretty believable. Other people comment and say things like "shut your mouth, Zinaldo", or "Shut up Zinaldo", but I think we really need to take a real hard look at what could ACTUALLY being going on with "Zinaldo".

This third set is fantastic, between Nole and the Fed.

Wow, and this fourth set- I missed some of it to take a shower- but- I love it. I like seesawing sets- very exciting. I also like seesaws, because they are fun. Up and down, up and down. Wheeee!

Wow. A FIFTH IS ON THE WAY! Five setters rock.

Yours Truly,

Paula

Facebook Chatting About Vera and Youzhny

2:26pmMe

this match is boring me

the kimmy match was great

2:26pmRon

i think want zvonereva to win

2:26pmMe

I don't think she can

But it would be a great upset- I like Vera

I like Kimmy too- but she's won it twice

2:27pmRon

she's all emotional and crazy

2:27pmMe

Vera is on new meds I think, less crazy

like me

maybe klonopin, like me

2:28pmRon

yes that's a turn-on...part of why i lke her

but i also like kimmy

2:28pmMe

It's fun

kimmy is sweet, vera is all crazy - the self flagallating lest year was rad

I also think she's not gay

you can just imagine having to pin her down and control her

she's sexy crazy

2:29pmRon

yes excatly

2:29pmMe

haha

2:30pmRon

she needs to be controlled

2:30pmMe

exactly

2:30pmRon

and to be taught

2:30pmMe

it would be fun for a dude to wrestle her down-

the sense of struggle and then

accomplishment

2:30pmRon

yes..would be a real struggle

2:31pmMe

this all has to go on my blog

2:32pmRon

yes..it belongs there

2:28pm

2:30p

2:34pmMe

I want Youz to break here

Did you read about my little conversation with youz in the elevator?

2:34pmRon

no

2:35pmMe

oh wait - did I get the score wrong? i did

I'm out of it

2:35pmRon

yes

he did break

last game

2:35pmMe

my brain is mush

I chatted up youz in the elevator in toronto

I find him attractive

2:36pmRon

nadal

he's going to win the touramnet

2:37pmMe

i would like that

I like Nole to win too- but not sure- Fed is playing really well

goddamn- poor youz

he might need some consoling

I could console him after his loss

like, pretty much let him do whatever he wants

maybe he'll be all angry and need to take out his aggression

2:39pmRon

haha

2:39pmMe

or maybe he'll be sad and need to be stroked gently and consoled like that-- brought back to life from his sadness

2:39pmRon

he knew he never had a chance

Nadal .v. Verdasco US Open 2010 - Ladies Love Cool Fernando

Hey - it's RR here again -

Help me People! P is not blogging. Why? She has been hanging out on Tennis-X and commenting a lot, and it's sapping her creative juices! They are sapping her creative juices and turning them into creative syrup, to pour on their own pancakes, by boiling them and adding sugar!!! It's terrible. I feel the crushing burden of having to blog, all on my own... carrying a giant, crushing weight, like I was pushing a giant stone Blog up a hill, only to have it roll down and have to do it again, day in, day out...

I'm trying to make her feel bad - can you tell? Mind you, she is having a lot of fun on Tennis-X...

HEY! We were there! Last night, for Woz-Cibulkova and then Federer-Soderling. First time I saw Fed live. He was like a god. And I am not a generally drooling Fed fan. But even from er like 100 rows up, he just had this aura. Soderling, a big strong fella and great player, did not have that aura.

It was pretty much womp, womp. Anyway we had fun. Good company. $300 spent on sweaters because it was freezing! I was a little surprised that Soderling went down so easy. I had high hopes. Anyway, despite 2 straight set matches it was still 1 AM when we got home...

Tonight we are watching Nadal-Verdasco. Had tickets but, too tired! Also, 9AM meeting tomorrow. Sigh.

P says they call Verdasco "hot sauce" on Tennis-X. She is trying to get them to adopt "Ladies' Choice". I suggested "LL Cool F".

By the way, we bought Cheesewad a shirt in Toronto, and it turns out to be Nadal's nighttime shirt! Cool!

Rockytoad and I got to see Nadal and Gonzo almost COURTSIDE last year - incidentally with tickets from the same folks we skipped out on tonight. But tonight, the seats were high in the bleachers. By the way, it's still fun up there...

Anyway, enough for now. So far Verdasco is punching through the considerable wind better than Nadal. I am kinda surprised. I thought spin was good in the wind? Who knows. Oh wait just noticed they are back on serve! More later... my hard-earned cash is on Rafa, what can I say.

RR out - for now.

Leni, Stosur, and Yahoo Answers!

RR Here -

P is not blogging. I apologize to our readers - I tell her that her readers need her. I am trying. She is hanging out on Tennis X too much and it's sapping her.... blog juice? I tell her to just blog what she is commenting... whatever. Trying.

Leni and Stosur. Martina is such a pleasure. Even Tracey is not bugging me too much. Maybe she read my post from yesterday and is trying to mellow out? Not be such a scary beotch? On reflection, I think that is definitely the case. Trace, if you read this, you're on the right track to rejoining the human race. Keep it up. Humanizing.

Tonight, we took a little break from watching tennis, actually while watching tennis but like break in what we were actually thinking and talking about, and hung out on Yahoo! Answers. It's like the new Amazon Reviews! Some of the questions we looked into were, "Andy Capp Hot Fries - Yuck or Yum?" In fact that was the one that got us there - P has a thing for Hot Fries. But then, that led us to other fascinating questions, like, "do u like chicken? and do u like ham?" That was what I called a "bong-hit question" - whoever asked that (I think his name was... Austin? I forget) did a giant bong hit and then typed that question in. Also, "could you die from eating a whole octopus?" That question is unresolved.

That all had nothing to do with tennis. Except that, when you watch a ton of tennis, you need to have a little downtime or multitask a little or something.

Leni is playing kind of awesome -just won the second set - but her new serve motion, it's like the serve of a retard. Not that it isn't working - and not that I don't sometimes do something similar - like when all hell is breaking loose on the serve and you try to do as little as possible - but it looks... retarded. But we love Leni and are pulling for her. Love Stosur too - but gotta pull for Leni. COME ON!

Back to the match - no more hanging out on Yahoo Answers... life is too short. But I laughed so hard tears shot out of my eyes and splattered on the computer screen...

RR out

Mardy Fish Talks About His Diet in This Video